the Real game

So on Saturday, I had a lot going on! I was supposed to get up at seven to be at Hillcrest for our track fundraiser. Well..I kinda slept through it. But then, Katie and I went to the guys' soccer game at Rice Eccles. They were playing before Real. So, we got there with about ten minutes left in the first half, and I was freaking pissed off that I didn't get to see Clint play much, which was most of the reason I was going. I guess I went for Anthony and Logan too, but not very many other people. Logan did freaking amazing, and Anthony did good too, he just didn't get much action. And Tiffer....well....no one was very happy with Tiffer after the game. Haha oh man, he messed up and he goes: "SHIT!!!!!" so freaking loud I was laughing so hard because I had never heard Tiffer swear before and apparently he does it a lot. And then there's Jacob...I thought he did pretty well for the part that I saw him play. And Hillcrest won the game of course :D so about an hour after their game got over, Real was playing. (I have to admit, I have absolutely no idea who was playing them because I really only cared about the guys' game. I was freakin out during their game I was all: "COME ON HILLCREST LETS GO!!!!!" and during the Real game I was totally chill. Haha it was great.) During the Hillcrest game, it was freaking FREEZING. Me and Katie were sitting there bundled up, and Katie had her hood on. Haha Katie's hood is fuzzy around the edges. So, Anthony was on the sideline, so he texted me and he goes: wave your arm!! and I didn't want to, so Katie told me to tell him: If you can't see me, I'm sitting by the freak in the hood. Oh man I was laughing so hard at that and I don't even know why, it really wasn't that funny. I think I just needed an excuse to laugh really hard. Because if I start laughing at nothing, I get the strangest looks! * So, after, most of the guys came and they were sitting around where Katie and I were sitting. And it just so happens, Jacob was sitting a few rows down from us. Ashton and Clint came and sat with us, so that was fun. And Marlie's older brother, Jeff was behind us, and then Logan and his family were a few rows up and then Tiffer was sitting like a ways behind us. But anyway, so I saw Jacob and I really wanted to say hi but I didn't want to yell his name, so I made Ashton do it haha. He goes: KUNZ!! And he turns around and me and Ashton are sitting there smiling and waving. He said hey to Ashton and then he nodded at me. You know when guys do that thing...they...gosh I don't know how to explain it but they give you a head nod...yeah anyways. So Anthony, silly goose, was a ball boy so I didn't get to talk to him much :[ but during half-time he came up and said hi to me and gave me the hug he owed me. So he sad down and I kinda cuddled up next to him because I was freaking FREEZING and then guess who comes up?? The devil himself. He sits next to Anthony. You have to understand, by this time I'm wondering what strange phenomenon is going on that Jacob would actually sit on the same bench as me. Crazy enough, he stayed for most of the second half. Even after Anthony left!! And he was actually talking to me!!! Wow it was crazy. So Clint and Katie were off in their own little world talking about something I had no idea what they were talking about, so I was talking to Ashton and Jake. Mostly Ashton...but anyways so Ashton got hungry, so he went to get something to eat. So, its basically just me and Jacob by this time. We started talking to each other more...and well...I'm really glad I got to talk to him for a while. It was a good time :D But the thing that confuses me is, I don't know how he feels about me. He obviously doesn't think I'm so annoying he can't stand me, otherwise he would have just left when Anthony did... but he didn't. Anthony thought he was jealous of me warming up with Anthony otherwise he wouldn't have come up to talk but I really don't know... anyways point being, Saturday was a great time :]

* So, I there's this guy on the track team that I have a crush on...his name is Daniel. So, the other day at track, we were doing a team ab work out and I was by Quinci and I was like hey, Quinc I'm going to go sit by Daniel! She rolled her eyes and followed me. So I walk over and I'm like Hey Daniel! I decided to come over here today! and he goes: yeah, because its so much better over here!! and I was like: yeah, and the sights are better too. Meaning that he's good looking haha and so he didn't get it which I thought was was funny. But we were doing the flutter kick ab workout, and I found it was easier to do it when I was laughing, so I just started laughing at absolutely NOTHING!!! and Quinci and Daniel gave me the strangest looks!! I even explained to them why I was laughing but they didn't get it haha anyways...I just get strange looks when I laugh at nothing.

This is what I learned today.

I put on my best, and I stick out my chest, and I'm off to the races again.

Today I learned to stick my head up high in the air,
and let it go.
He's not worth my tears.
I'm going to throw my feelings for him away.
He doesn't mean a thing to me.

My new song needs a title

So, today I've been working on a new song. It's coming along rather nicely :] here are the lyrics:

Verse 1: My stomach is sick and I don't know what to do.
Because you're walking out of my life and there's nothing I can do.
Every thought of you makes my stomach churn because I know I'm not that girl.

Chorus: We're falling apart, so far apart.
What happened to the way we used to be?
I miss you so much it's pathetic.
I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it together.

Verse 2: When I gave you my heart I trusted you not to break it and now that it's finally broken,
I see that I was wrong to trust you with such a fragile thing.

Chorus

Verse 3: Each mention of your name is like another stab to my already bleeding heart.
I pass you in the hall and see your arm around her,
I tear my eyes away from that beautiful face, hiding silent tears.

Verse 4: Your song comes on the radio as I lay on my bed.
I run to the bathroom, and pull my hair back from my face as I lean over the toilet.
Sides heaving, I sit and put my hands on my tear stained face.
I'm sick of trying to keep it together.

Chorus: We're falling apart, so far apart.
We used to be such good of friends. What happened?
I miss you so much its pathetic.
I can't keep it together anymore.
I can't keep it together anymore.


So yeah, I agree with Clint that it's rather depressing. But, hey. I think it's pretty good.
And Katie, the music part is coming along ok...but I would love it if you would like to help me with that area :D But tell me what you guys thing :] And ideas for a title too :]

Happy Nicholas Jerry Jonas Day!!!!!

It's Nicholas Jerry Jonas day, everyone!!!!! Yep. I'm celebrating by listening to all the Jonas Brothers music I can, and thinking about all the amazing things Nick has done for the world :D We love you Nick!!!!! <3

~a better outlook on life~

When I was young
I use to dream of being rich
Have alot of houses and cars
Couldn't know which one was which
And finding me a chick and getting hitched
Living the fairy tale life perfect without a ditch
You think that this would bring me happiness
If at the end of every rainbow
There was a treasure chest
Sometimes having more is really less
So take a look inside yourself
You'll realize you're really blessed
No matter how you're sad and blue
There's always someone who has it worse than you
Sometimes you gotta pay your dues
So don't worry just push on through

Keep'n it real
Gotta big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they gotta struggle
Keep'n it real
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Keep'n it real
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain't no need in drowning in your sorrows
Keep'n it real
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there'll be a brighter tomorrow

I never got to have myself the house, the mansion, and the Benz
I'm not the type of brother who be making mad ends
I got myself a girl but we be kickin' it as friends
Is not enough for me now that depends
Again- not everthing you want is everything you really need
The standard is motovatived by greed
Are you prepared to follow
Tell me are you prepared to lead
So persevere and you'll suceed

Keep'n it real
Gotta big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they gotta struggle
Keep'n it real
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Keep'n it real
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain't no need in drowning in your sorrows
Keep'n it real
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there'll be a brighter tomorrow

All the harsh realities
Appears to come two's and three's
Don't worry cuz
There'll be a better day
One thing I can promise you
Just keep on keeping on
I swear to you
There's gonna be a brighter day

Back in the days
I use to dream of being rich
Have alot of houses and cars
Couldn't know which one was which
And finding me a chick and getting hitched
Living the fairy tale life perfect witout a ditch
You think that this would bring me happiness
If at the end of every rainbow there was a treasure chest
Sometimes having more is really less
So take a look inside yourself
You'll realize you're really blessed
No matter how you're sad and blue
There's always someone who has it worse than you
Sometimes you gotta pay your dues
So don't worry just push on through

Keep'n it real
Gotta big up all my peoples who be working on the future
Though they know they gotta struggle
Keep'n it real
To all my homies working on the 9 to 5
And doing right to keep themselves up out of trouble
Keep'n it real
Although sometimes I know it seems impossible
There ain't no need in drowning in your sorrows
Keep'n it real
If things are as bad as they can be
You can be sure there'll be a brighter tomorrow
~Shaggy

That's pretty much one of my favorite songs. And I've realized that you really shouldn't take what you have for granted and with some things, you don't really know what you have until it's gone. Like that song Nick sang at the concert... I mean, I know that I have an amazing best friend, but I don't think that I really do understand how much she helps, and how valuable she is. And I kind of take for granted what I have with the guy I like, and I want more to happen, but I should just be happy in knowing that he likes me too and that we are friends. Because you never know, something could happen and I just need to realize that what I have is good for now, I shouldn't push this. Katie's told me that before, but it really takes some time for things so sink in for me. So I guess I owe all this to Katie. Remember, if your day is as bad as it can get, you can be sure that tomorrow will be better, and there's always someone who has it worse. So, don't worry. Because every little thing is gonna be alright.
So, thanks to Katie, Hillary, Shaggy, and Bob Marley for helping me get through hard times through music, or just a talk, they really help me no matter what it is :] thanks. love you, Katie and Hillary :]

and Katie, remember, there are other fish in the sea. like your blonde guy from the movies!! and i really will smack scott for you :D